I used to sit at my desk in college and dream. I would dream about the future and the exciting job I would some day have. I don’t think I ever imagined that my career would involve a series of bland cubicles, wasted time, and frustrating coworkers. Does anyone dream of spending their most vibrant years trapped in a gray cubicle for forty hours a week, doing mind-numbing work that in the end, doesn’t seem to matter all that much anyway?
I remember being in elementary school and attending a local church daycare a few days a week in summer. Sometimes I would walk to the bathroom on my own and I would pause in the walkway, staring outside at the cars traveling on the road ahead. I would wish with all of my might that I was inside one of those cars, free and easy, driving under the gleaming summer sun, instead of stuck inside, under the thumb of some authority I neither respected or cared for. I never thought I would do the same thing as an adult.
I used to be so certain that I was going to make something of myself. I was going to be a famous poet and writer, maybe even an artist, and no one was going to stop me. But I guess life steps in and at some point you realize that the chances of your being able to do what you love for a living and actually getting paid for it are fairly slim. So you dial down your dreams a notch or two, thinking that someday soon, once SOMETHING happens in life, you’ll get back to them. And then a few years pass, and you turn the dial down just a little bit lower, and then lower yet again, until you’re left with nothing but dryness and an ache in the empty pit of your stomach.
I was sitting in a meeting the other day, and people were discussing the minutia of this or that, and as they were speaking, I looked around the room. Who among us had dreamed as a child that we would some day be little office drones wearing nice little office suits and talking about dull little office concepts? No child ever says they want to be a businessman or woman when they grow up, do they? We always want to be something fantastical: an astronaut, a ballerina, a doctor, a singer. Sometimes we’re kept from our dreams by inescapable physical realities: the would-be ballerina who has a leg deformity, the would-be singer who is tone deaf. But most of the time, I think we stop ourselves because it’s too hard or too scary to step outside of our comfort zone and be the person we want to be, or even the person we know we can be. We hide our authenticity behind a facade of happiness, because after all, why shouldn’t we be happy? We have a nice job in an air-conditioned building, decent hours, a good salary, and nice benefits like health insurance and a retirement package, and all the while our souls die just a little bit more every day.
But I am tired now of waiting for the future. I am tired of putting what I want to do on the back burner. I want to live for myself now. I don’t want to live for anyone else. I don’t want to answer to anyone else. I want to do something that makes me feel important, needed, and fulfilled.
I want to die failing spectacularly at something I love, instead of living successfully doing something I hate. And I am taking steps to make that happen. Much more to come.
It’s been forever and ever since I’ve posted. I have a ton of new work to show you, and I’m also getting back into painting again, which has been exceptionally thrilling and fulfilling. More images to come, but for now, I want to share some new items that I’ve just listed in the shop. Take a look and enjoy!
As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, the honeybees were out in force at the Botanical Gardens. Although I used to be terrified of them, I’ve since realized as an adult that if you leave a honeybee alone, she will leave you alone. I’m very careful about getting up close to them with my macro lens, but for the most part, they are so intent on pollinating the flower at hand, that they totally ignore me. (Which is just fine with me.) I hope you enjoy the selection of photos below, and if you get a chance you should read up on honeybees! They are quite interesting.
This morning, I got up SUPER early for a Saturday (8 A.M.), determined to get out in the cooler weather and shoot. At first, I didn’t really have much of a purpose in mind, but upon arriving at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens, I quickly discovered I had gotten there early enough to capture flowers still bathed in tiny, perfect little droplets of dew. Each dewdrop was perfect, a lovely shimmering orb shining in the bright sunlight. Buzzing amidst the flowers were a wide swath of honeybees, which I will document in a later post. Hope you enjoy a few images from this morning!
What has eight legs, soft fur, and the cutest little dispositions in the world? TWO BRAND NEW PUPPIES! Two of my former coworkers, Susan and Cindy, adopted two sweet little Miniature Australian Shepherd puppies recently and I was lucky enough to get to photograph them playing in their backyard. Folks, I didn’t think it was possible for a dog to rival a cat in absolute adorability (yes, I just made up that word), but there you have it: these little munchkins ate my heart alive. Koda and Kaya are sisters and surprisingly enough, the smaller of the two (Kaya) is the oldest. It took Susan and Cindy several years, after the death of their beloved dog Kaboodle, to be able to adopt again, but when it came time to do so, I can’t imagine that they could have picked more perfect little puppies than these two babies. Their 17 year old cat, Kit, is perhaps not as enamored of them as everyone else, but he’s still making sure that he is the alpha animal around the house, and is still very much beloved by his moms.
Please enjoy a few photographs from the session, and feel free to book your own session soon!
Sorry for the long delay in posting. I’ve been out taking photos and sitting down with some graphic design books lately, determined to finally get a handle on Photoshop and Illustrator. I want to do some exploration in graphic design, which I find endlessly fascinating, so studying has been taking up a lot of my time. And seeing as how I haven’t cracked a book to study even once since graduating from college 11 years ago (dear GOD!) it’s been a bit of a struggle to keep myself motivated enough to plow through my books.
In any case, I wanted to share some photos I took of Lexi and Lola a few weeks ago. They are two sweet little Dachshund sisters who are inseparable and as adorable as can be. Their mama, Laura, was as nice as her doggies and I loved getting to spend some early Saturday morning time with them both. Enjoy, and remember, if you want to book a session, click here for more information!
My husband is raising bonsai trees on our deck. Every night he goes out to water them, and in response they’ve grown more than we ever would have imagined. About two weeks ago, he found this little guy sitting on one of the trees. He was TINY…no more than an inch in length. Of course, I had to rush inside to get my camera and attach my macro lens so I could take a few pictures before he hopped off into the evening. It was very dark outside and I forgot to attach my killer flash, but I still think the pictures are cute. I *love* his little spots!